


Like Threads Intertwined

by Dragestil



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-16 01:44:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18511387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragestil/pseuds/Dragestil
Summary: Dorian has nightmares, and even awake he cannot truly escape his fears. But sometimes all you need is someone by your side to ease the burden





	Like Threads Intertwined

**Author's Note:**

> If you would like to see more of my fics, make requests, and more, please check out my [Tumblr](http://dragestilwrites.tumblr.com) and my [Twitter!](https://www.twitter.com/dragestilwrites)

“Where are you going?”

“Just to the garden.”

“Can I come?”

“I’ll only be-” he catches himself mid-sentence. A soft smile creeps into his eyes and he extends a hand. “Of course you can come, _ma vhenan_.”

Dorian hates how quickly he stands to take that offered hand. But any upset he feels is calmed by his lover’s steady gaze, by thin fingers sliding between his own, by gentle words free of judgement. He wonders for the thousandth time what he had ever done to earn such tenderness. Surely some divine hand must have intervened to bring him here, to allow him this. He wishes he could still the faint tremor in his hand.

“Dorian, are you alright?”

“Oh, it’s nothing, a _matus_.”

“Are you sure?”

Eren closes the distance between them in a long stride. His free hand moves to cradle Dorian’s cheek and he presses their foreheads together. He brings Dorian’s hand to his lips and brushes a kiss across the knuckles.

“You don’t have to hide anything from me.”

Dorian hesitates. History says vulnerability is dangerous. History says truth leads to pain. History says there’s no trust but in one’s self. The thoughts of his past ache where they settle in his chest. He wishes for just a moment he could disappear and be free of all of this. But then Eren’s thumb is running gently across his cheek. And Eren’s hand is squeezing his own. And the dark clouds of all that history are slowly broken by the warmth in Eren’s golden eyes.

“I have nightmares,” Dorian says after several moments. “When I close my eyes, I see you staring down Corypheus and his dragon. I see you falling into the Fade. You - injured. You - endangering yourself for what - for _us_ ? for the Inquisition? You could have died! Every time you leave Skyhold you place yourself at risk and they all thank Andraste when you come back alive, but what if you _died_ ? What would I - What would _we_ do?”

“Oh Dorian,” Eren murmurs. “Do you really want to know why I am here?”

Dorian swallows down his fear and nods. “Yes, a _matus_ , you don’t have to hide anything from me.”

“I went to the Conclave for my clan. And when I was taken to Haven and accused of causing the Breach, I knew I would need to do whatever it took to prove my innocence - even if I could not remember what had happened. If I was blamed for the Breach, my clan would suffer, the Dalish would suffer. The Chantry would love a new reason to hate us, and a Dalish ‘infiltrator’ at the Conclave who killed the Divine and everyone else there would be the perfect excuse. I couldn’t allow that to happen.

When Solas revealed that I could close the rifts in the Fade, I knew what I would be tasked with. I knew it might kill me. Some part of me wished it would. If I died to close the Breach, they would have less reason to go after my clan. When I woke back up in Haven? Everything changed. The last time I’d seen the people there, they glared at me, whispered about the wrongs I’d done. But now they bowed to me, their whispers were glorifying my actions, and they called me the Herald of Andraste.”

“I must admit,” Dorian says as Eren takes a pause for breath, “I have never heard the story of how you came to be her Herald.”

“But you joined the Inquisition anyway?”

“When I first met you, I was surprised. An elf _and_ a mage? And the Inquisition was calling you Andraste’s Herald? I was curious how you ended up in such a position, but...Well the Inquisition was a bit less trusting of their dearest ally from Tevinter then, and no one seemed eager to tell me what had happened.”

“You could have asked me.”

“I did not need to. When we went to stop Alexius in Redcliffe you showed me everything I needed to see. You made decisions I am not envious of, all while putting yourself at risk for people who would be calling you knife-ear if they’d met you before the Conclave. Even before you were made Inquisitor, you bore the weight of the Inquisition on your shoulders. I didn’t need to know why they called you Andraste’s Herald because I was not following Andraste’s Herald, I was following _you_. It wasn’t a holy calling. Whatever you were fighting for, I believed in it - I still do.”

“You’re right. This isn’t a holy calling,” Eren says after a swift glance around the room for any unwanted ears. “If I let them call me Andraste’s Herald, if I agree with them when they say I’m blessed by the Maker, they have to treat my people fairly. And I can make sure my clan is safe with Inquisition resources. But that...that is not why I am here now.”

“What do you mean?”

“The Inquisition is a family to me now. I have made close friends who have put themselves at risk to fight at my side, even staring down a monster like Corypheus. And I have you, _ma vhenan_. I was surprised when you decided to join the Inquisition. The only thing more unlikely than a Dalish mage joining the Inquisition is a mage from Tevinter joining. You were an outsider, like me, and the more I knew you, the more I hoped the Inquisition would come to trust you like they do me. The only way I would leave the Inquisition is with you at my side.”

“You would leave?”

“If it came to that...Maybe.”

“I wouldn’t blame you.”

“You wouldn’t?”

“Part of me would be happy. No more putting yourself in danger for the Inquisition. It’s foolish, I know, to think leaving would stop Corypheus from hunting you, but...well a part of me still holds that hope.”

“When this is all over, when we’ve beaten Corypheus, then I’ll leave.”

“Do you think they will let you? You’re the Herald, the Inquisitor. The faithful have chosen you as a leader.”

“They’ll elect a new Divine, and she will guide them. I’ve…” Eren sighs. “I’m not holy. I’ve never even sung the Chant of Light. But if being Andraste’s Herald brings a level of safety to my people, I will do what I must.”

“You don't believe in the Maker?”

“I am Dalish and I follow our gods. I have not forgotten why I received the vallaslin. Your Maker may exist, but I do not know him. And we know who it was in the Fade that saved my life - not Andraste, but Divine Justinia.”

“But you still serve the Inquisition? Even though you do not believe?”

“If I was not Inquisitor, clan Lavellan would be gone. A noble attempted to blame my clan and city elves for poisoning done by red lyrium. Only with the Inquisition’s intervention were they able to survive and prove their innocence. The only way to be able to truly protect my people is through the Inquisition. It is selfish of me-”

“No, no. Don’t say that. More than once you have faced death for the people of Thedas. Whether or not you believe in the Maker, you have saved countless lives. You have rescued stranded and captured soldiers. You’ve fought demons and undead and Venatori and darkspawn. You’ve gone into the Fade - and come back out alive - _twice_. You may be trying to protect your people, but you’re protecting the rest of us while you’re at it. And I know you do not only protect elves. You’ve protected me more than once too. When others in the Inquisition have questioned my loyalty or my motives, you have stood against them - even against Mother Giselle.”

“Of course I did! She had no business doubting you when you had done nothing but help us, help _me_. And now...I said that when I first came to Haven, I did what I had to for the sake of my clan. But it’s not just for them now. Nor for the Inquisition even.

I have nightmares, too. When I close my eyes, I see you taken by red lyrium, subjected to Corypheus’ will, lost in the Fade, killed by Venatori, a thousand different ways you could be stolen from me. If anything I can do will spare you those fates, I will do it. I have seen too many people die in this war. I cannot lose you too.”

“Eren.”

They fall into silence. For a while, they stand motionless in Eren’s room. Then Eren takes a step back, fingers still intertwined with Dorian’s.

“Let’s go to the garden. I think fresh air might be good for us.”

“Lead the way, a _matus_. Anywhere you go, I will follow.”


End file.
